There are many reasons why you may have a long distance relationship, but whatever your circumstances to make this work there are things that you need to know.

Long distance relationship are full of fears and insecurities. Normal relationships are hard enough, but trying to keep a relationship alive with many miles between you is never easy.

With all these miles between you the big question is will you last?

There is never a more important time to create goals or a vision together. This is because relationships need to grow and for this to happen you need to have something that you are working on together to fulfil a shared dream.

The dream could be to be closer together. If this is your dream what has to happen, what are the blocks how can you find you ways around those blocks, what solutions can you both come up with?

Creating this plan will keep you both going as you will see every day steps being made towards what you both really want.

This will remove your fears and insecurities, because you will see clear proof that a commitment is being made and that you are loved and important in your partners life and it’s only circumstances that are keeping you apart temporarily.

The key with any long distance relationship is understanding the intentions of your partner.

What is that secret that makes relationships work every time.

As you can imagine this is a big question, because if you know human behaviour and the process our minds and bodies go through just to create a simple behaviour or belief, then you might wonder how men ansd women ever get on.

And I think that’s the point we are actually not designed to live together in a home for life.

Nature has designed us so we automatically feel the sexual electricity that happens when we first meet someone we are attracted to, but…

…what we want and what nature has designed us for is different and so the quest for unconditional lasting love is something that if we want it we have to put effort into creating it.

It’s this understanding is the start to a successful relationship!

Many people want everything, do nothing and yet complain when it’s not the way they imagined.

If you want a passionate lasting relationship with a love that’s unconditional then follow these few relationship rules.

• Make love your number one value.
• Give to your partner and ask for nothing in return
• Make understanding your partners needs your mission in life
• Never be your partners judge
• Understand yourself and always give your partner the real you
• Always assume that your partner intentions are good.
• Serve your partner every day
• Never ever make the relationship about you.

There are many more, but this will make a huge difference if you start this today!

If you are serious about finding someone you can trust, someone you find attractive someone that is reliable and has all the qualities that you desire most for a serious relationship then before you go on dates what are your goals?

When you consider the relationship you really want and the qualities you are looking for in a partner one of the key qualities that makes the difference is… how they make you feel about yourself.

The first goal is to discover what you need your perfect partner to be… below is some thoughts for you to consider. As you scan this page you’ll start to build an image of what your perfect person is like… then I’ll share with you how to get it.

What you might need…

• You want to be with someone who makes you feel great about you. They need to encourage you to get the best from yourself and not be afraid of your growth.
• You want someone who will set you free to be who you are and trust that you will always return. You want someone that wants to give to you and expects nothing in return.
• You want someone who adds value to your life and will out of no where inject fun and excitement, you will want someone who will never judges you.
• You want someone who values the relationship and you above everything and always puts it and you first.
• You want a person who is committed to creating amazing memories with you and takes constant action to ensure you get them.
• You want someone who is passionate in wanting to understand you and discover your very unique and individual needs.
• You want someone who never assumes they know what you mean and takes their time to understand you.

If you met someone that could give you all of the above how would this make you feel about you?
Knowing what you want is critical but the big question is how do you get it?

How can you find this person?

The answers are within you, because when you display all the qualities you are looking for in your imagined perfect partner you will automatically attract that type of person.

If you are a woman looking for the perfect man then be your idea of your perfect woman and give to him and make him feel like a man.

If you are looking for the perfect woman for you then make her feel like a woman and she will make you feel like a man.

Believe me this is your route to success and above all think with your heart because your head is full of fears that will stop you being who you really are, this will keep you from pain… but it will also keep you from finding your true love.

To your success…

I am recently divorced 32 with a 4 year old little girl, I have started dating again and I have met this man who seems to be everything I want. He is kind and generous and makes me feel wonderful. I really don’t want to mess this up so my question is, when should I sleep with him?

I am feeling the pressure (not from him from myself) after each date it’s been 4 weeks now and I am worried that if I don’t sleep with him I will lose him and if I do sleep with him I will lose him.

What should I do?

Samantha

Dear Samantha

Thank you for taking the time to write.

You are right to wait because you need to know more about this potential partner before you get too emotional involved. When a woman sleeps with a man this is a big step for her packed full of emotions.

If he is serious about wanting you as a long term partner then he will wait for you to be ready and sure he is all you really want.

The key is to respect yourself, let him know how much you like him, but be honest with him that you need to feel that shared commitment from him before you are willing to go there.

In most cases women who sleep with men too early will be disappointed as most men will not call again. How long should you wait? Of course this is individual to what time frame feels right to you, but I would say 6 weeks minimum. If he gets fed up of waiting then sex was all he wanted and all you have lost is a casual encounter.

Get to know him better!

You will need to understand his core values by which he lives his life particularly in the context of relationships. Ask to meet his friend s and family so you can build a clear picture of what he is about. You also want to know that his primary goal is to help you to feel great about you.

Your daughter will be you biggest priority here, taking on someones children is not to be taken lightly as they are very easily influenced and affected by changes at home and in your emotion health.

The key to a great relationship is to find someone who wants to give to you, not take from you. Someone who’s primary goal is your happiness.

Keep in touch and let me know how you get on…

Stephen

Stephen Hedger is the relationship coach on this site.
Every week Stephen will be answering your relationship question so if you have any questions or relationship worries please click here.

 

Communication is one of the big differences when it comes to the why men and women struggle to understand each other.

For example: You never pay me a compliment! The woman will be focused on wanting to be appreciated loved and feel attractive to her husband. The man however will be focused on the word “NEVER!”.

He will fight for the fact he has and she will now battle to get what she wants and that could be the security in knowing that she is enough for him.

What I help men understand is that women communicate with emotions and so the words they use are not meant to be taken to heart.

If a man tries to define her words then her meaning will be lost, she will see the mans lack of understanding and so, because what she wants more than any thing is to be understood she will escalate until you are both in a full blown row.

Men have to practice understanding what she really wants and means when she speaks, this way his meaning of her words cannot hurt him.

“Are you fed up of struggling, being

disrespected, misundersood and not appreciated?

Is the trust in your relationship broken?

If this is you I can help you !”

As you scan through this page you will shortly feel a sense of hope for your future. You will be amazed at how the very situation you are in right now does not have to be this way and I will show you how to restore that trust in your decisions and in your relationship.

You will be surprised at how easy it is by taking very simple steps that will empower you to know how to build trust in a relationship and in your own decisions for your life’s direction. These little known secrets will provide you with an amazing journey of self-discovery!

Within days you will overcome feelings of hopelessness and gain back control as you rebuild confidence in your life. You will discover where the trust issues are and how to bring back what you once had. You will delight in restoring trust and security and create goals for you and your relationship. This will then provide you with all the emotions you have been searching for to build trust successfully.

How to Regain Trust in a Relationshipwith Professional Coach Stephen Hedger

My journey in the world of professional relationship work began 10 years ago after experiencing my own fair share of relationship and dating trauma. I was personally driven to discover what caused seemingly great relationships to quickly turn sour.

I chose to become certified in NLP and Sequential Mind Technology in my quest to learn and discover more about human behaviour in the context of relationships. NLP helps people to understand what their reality really is. The worlds they have created and the ways in which they percieve their life is very likely to be sabotaging thier future success.

Using these powerful tools over the past 10 years I have worked with and helped hundreds of individuals with relationship and dating problems, issues and fears.

After 10 years of research into human behaviour and with many hundreds of live sessions I have created the most effective proven methods of ensuring relationship and personal success for long-term happiness. You can rest assured that these powerful proven methods will get you amazing results.

I know personally first hand how destructive a loss of trust in relationship can be. I was in that place and I know the pain that can result. This was what drove my passion to discover how to make powerful changes in relationships and ourselves to make success a reality rather than just a romantic dream.

There had to be a better way?

Probably just like you and the hundreds of individuals I have spoken to, you want results and fast. This is what I wanted too. Many years ago I decided to seek help in my relationship that was just not working…

I tried counselling and was dismayed at why this lady and others that I tried had decided that controlled arguing in front of her was going to fix our broken relationship. It only resulted in us focusing on what was causing us pain and made us feel worse. The inevitable result was a break up. “I knew there must be a better way…and there was!”

A clients journey – 1-on-1 with me!

One lady who’s life and relationship was broken and full of problems, decided to take this journey of self-discovery. Within 3 days went from depression and despair to hope and passion for her new life. These astonishing secrets uncovered the real her. She told me how amazed she was at the speed of what she learning about herself. What she had discovered had completely changed her view and feelings for her future.

Remember she was depressed and could not see a future when she started.

Day one: Her first hour with me!

“Steve was absolutely fantastic with me and I will be speaking to him again soon.” – She was so excited with what she discovered about herself she made contact the very next day!

Day two

“Again Steve is amazingly helpful. He’s getting me to see things I can’t , the wool has been pulled so to speak, brilliant, thank you!” – She discovered what was making her unhappy and in plenty of detail!

Day three

“Brilliant and straight to the point!” – She was beginning to wake up to her reality. The choices and actions that had made her so unhappy were now in a position for change, and boy did she change! We then made plans to help her overcome each and every issue…

Her amazing journey

…This is an amazing journey for her she started on a Sunday and by Tuesday her perception of a hopeless future had totally changed.

She clearly understood what was happening in her relationship to make a lack of trust a possibility. For her this is the start of a new exciting future, where she could take control of every decision and emotion that would lead to only one place. A successful future! She discovered unique ways of rebuilding trust in a relationship firstly with herself and what to do when the trust is broken. So excited by her new future she cannot stop telling me of her new successes by email every week. This could be you…

What my clients say

“When I recently found out that my new boyfriend fears commitment from a past experience, I felt hopeless. My family and friends did not support my decisions to want to continue the relationship. Then I found Steve Hedger, and my hopelessness turned into confidence. Steve was not only a sympathetic ear, he showed me how to overcome my own fears. I now have the strength to keep the faith in the person I love most.

After several sessions with Steve I have been able to take control of my negative emotions and find a way to be positive. Through his guidance, I have been able to turn things around in a way that has shown progress in the right direction. He was always realistic and supportive in the way that others had not been. If it wasn’t for Steve, I may have missed out on the happiness I’ve been waiting for all of my life.”

Gwyneth USA

“Steve has been invaluable in rebuilding our relationship. When we came to see Steve we both agreed that this was our last attempt at fixing our relationship. We loved each other and had tried counselling for 6 months but with no progress.

The personal side of our relationship was non-existent. During the NLP coaching we both discovered what we both need to be happy and it was not what we thought. Within six 6 weeks we were back on track and making plans for our future which looked exciting again. What’s even better is now after being together for over 6 years and with a little one under 5 my husband is now dating me again.”

Andrew & Sarah UK

Imagine learning how to take control of you and your relationship within a few days of working with me.

Trust is one of the cornerstones of any relationship and this is where most relationships fail. Trust issues can take many forms, such as adulterous partners to partners that just stop looking after the relationship. Communication breaks down and bit-by-bit resentment and lack of respect is what fills your relationship. When this happens splits and affairs are a very real possibility.

How to Regain Trust in a Relationship

The biggest benefit from learning these secrets is a greater sense of self and belief in your decisions and actions.

• You’ll learn to regain confidence and self-esteem by knowing how to create the boundaries that can only equal success in every part of your life and relationship.
• You will discover exactly what makes you happy and why so you can take the best possible actions to ensure you achieve that happiness in everything you do.
• You will understand how past behaviours have created the life you have today and which ones need to change. This will empower you know how and when you are likely to sabotage your own future.
• You will be able to communicate with absolute clarity to your partner on how they can meet your emotional needs.
• You will learn what questions to ask your partner so that you can understand what needs you have to meet, that will help them to be happy.
• You will quickly discover if your partner is right or wrong for you.
• You will then discover how to model the success the start of your relationship created. And how to bring those specific actions back into your relationship today.
• And I could go on, the benefits are just enormous and all achievable with the right focus easily and quickly.My extensive years of experience with many simple and complex problems combined with a warm non-judgemental solution orientated approach to your specific situation can only do one thing… Make you feel excited about your future again!
• Even if your partner is not interested in taking these steps with you, you can make significant steps, that will create positive changes in them without them realising! So no need for the dreaded… “twe need to talk” approach. Every step will be created easily with small agreements… You don’t need to take my word for it you can try it for yourself for free, read on to discover more.

• My Guarantee to you

  IMPORTANT! These powerful steps are only for those of you who are 100% committed to your future success. Without your commitment this will not work and you will waste your time and money.

  My guarantee to you is I will provide you with an equalled 100% commitment to your success and every step that will move you towards what you want.

  So lets get started on your fantastic journey of self-discovery and regain relationship trust fast TODAY!

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Relationship problems – how to stay together is still a question for many couples on the brink of collapse.

With the sustained rise in relationship problems splits and divorce still on the rise, couples are still not getting the message of how to stay together. If they keep on doing what they have been doing, then they will keep getting what they away got - more problems! Lets look at what’s happening and what needs to change.

Imagine for a moment what is important to you in your life. What would you miss if it wasn’t there? Home, job, husband, wife, partner, money I’m sure you can list many more.

So what do you do on a regular basis to make sure you keep all of those things?

• If you have a home I expect you pay the rent or the mortgage each month because if you didn’t you would lose it.
  
• If you have a job then if you did not do your best and turn up each day then you would lose that job. What you are doing is applying the right focus to those things to make sure you keep them.

The shocking truth

What would have to happen for you to lose your relationship? The shocking truth is just carry on doing what you’re doing. It’s the best route to disaster. I have read several studies that all point to the same conclusion. Couples do not talk to each other. The reports are suggesting that couples spend on average 20 minutes per week or 3 minutes a day in focused meaningful conversation.

Think back to when you were dating. How much time did you spend in meaningful conversation and focused fun? If your date was 2/3 hours that’s a lot of time and energy spent on you both. So why did you do that?

You did it because you had a goal. That goal was more dates, sex, love, marriage, great feelings, and fun, we all have our own agendas. But the bottom line was you felt great about you, your future and your partner. By dating, you created hope.

Where have your goals gone?

Now ask yourself how exciting does you future look now? If it does not look great and you are now bored you are entering the relationship danger zone. You can also guarantee that if you are feeling bored or unhappy then your partner is too. The less you communicate the worse it gets and before you know it either one of you is dreaming of a different life or an affair is on the horizon. The next step is to blame your partner or the relationship. You will feel resentment of not getting the life you thought you were going to get and this is likely to turn into a lack of respect. Once you get to that stage a break-up is very likely, is that what you really want?

We have nothing to talk about!

Many couples complain that they have nothing to talk about and they are right, they have different jobs roles and lives the common factor they have is live under the same roof so what can they talk about? Kids, money, their day, the grass needs cutting, no wonder they don‘t want to talk.

So what did they discuss when they were first dating? What they talked about then was their future, they created exciting goals, of future dates, weekends away, great nights out. Then these goal progressed to living together getting married, getting rich! Who knows what it was that excited you about your future with your partner but something did. Without goals, there would be no second date or a relationship and you can’t create goals if you don’t talk. Creating an exciting life together is your goal, this is where you start.

You have not lost your love you have lost your future.

You have not lost your love or your passion you are basically still the same people you both fell in love with, but by not communicating you have both successfully killed the relationship without realising. This is not the fault of the relationship it is the fault of the actions or lack of them.

You have heard people say

“We need to split up because this relationship is going nowhere”.
In translation it means that the couple has not created goals for their future, Therefore neither one can’t see a future so the conclusion is the relationship must be wrong.

Very oftern this is a cry for help.

What has happened is you have both failed in applying the very thing your relationship needs for it to survive, an exciting future. Create that first and in return you will both create fulfilled lives littered with fantastic memories rather than poor ones you might already have.

Start today, sit with your partner, and create a life together. What have you always dreamed of doing both personally and in the relationship? Decide and design the life you both want and then take the steps to achieve that life. Create small steps towards those bigger goals and work together at it.

Now you have lots to talk about and an exciting future of possibilities. In this world of plenty, the opportunities are endless. Get excited together, go, and get the life you know you both deserve.

Take action now and rediscover yourself and your partner again. Click “free relationship advce” to discover more ways to stay together and fast!

Well now you can. Stephen Hedger International relationship coach takes a thought provoking look at the world of affairs and cheating.

Cheating is everywhere!

One of my clients recounts her story of why she cheated.

“Bored with my husband…So I cheated!”

My husband was working long hours and to be honest I was bored and lonely. When he got home he was too tired for me or the kids. He had provided an amazing home and we wanted for nothing. But in my heart I knew something was missing we had lost the reason we got together, I resented him for what I called an existance. This was not the life I dreamed of where was the adventure, the love the passion?

I began to make a life for myself and soon Friday nights became “girls night” we hit the clubs and I just let my hair down and had a giggle.

The men in these clubs made me feel alive again, drinks, compliments I started to feel sexy again. We were approached a lot but we usually just had some innocent fun, but one night and after a very hard and lonely week. This man just took my breath away and against all my better judgment I slept with him that night. I never do this ever! My first ever one night stand. I felt hideous afterwards and for weeks I was giving everyone in my life hell because of my guilt.

I couldn’t take it anymore and confessed to my husband and he went mad I could see his pain. I had heard about Stephen through friends and thought I would give him a try. Eventually I managed to persuade my husband to come and see Stephen. Within a few weeks we started to put all our cards on the table, it was the first time we had really talked for years. My husband discovered that his drive for money had nearly cost him his marriage, and I discovered what I had done to pressure my husband to want to go and get that cash.

Stephen introduced us both to a journey of self-discovery and I can honestly say that I have never felt so peaceful and excited about my future.

“They were the lucky ones!”

The reasons that people cheat are wide and varied, but there is one common reason! The people that cheat are unhappy and are looking for something to help them feel good about themselves again.

To them affairs are the solution, but just like the alcoholic that seeks pleasure in the next drink eventually it will be their demise.

Affairs kill relationships, we know this, but how do we discover if it could happen to us and how do we stop it?

It is this question that drove me to explore the world of cheats and affairs!

My research has resulted in my new book! If you wish to read more please

Click Here - ”Signs of a Cheating Partner”

Signs of a cheating boyfriend

Signs of a cheating girlfriend

Signs of a cheating wife

Signs of a cheating husband

How will you discover the signs of cheating
in your relationship?

This Body language of desire secret is Steve Hedger’s favorite. Body language & relationship coach has listed below a great way to discover see who is attracted to you. I have many more top body language tips for you so you know who is interested in you without a word being exchanged. You can also use these tips to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex.

So let’s get going, have fun and enjoy!

When you really fancy the pants off someone you just met, it is an amazing feeling. But unless you know if the feelings are reciprocated then this is also very frustrating.

You just want to know “So do you fancy me or not?” But you just can’t ask that! Well…you can ask what you want, but that is not a question that will help either of you. Your answers are right there in front of you. People give off unspoken signals constantly and when you are on a date it is like a firework display. But only if you know what to look for! In this first tip we are going to look at attraction through body language eye contact.

The eye contact body language of desire gives the game away.

Lets start with some little known signals. The eyes are a big give-a-way. What you’re after is a combination of body language and eye contact. We will come onto more body language secrets later in this series, but for now we will focus on the eyes. Most of us have heard that dilated pupils mean attraction and this is true, but this can be confused by low lighting that can also affect our eyes this way. A sure fire way to notice attraction is to look for glassy eyes. When someone is aroused by another their body creates moisture in the genital region, what you may not know is, this moisture also builds up in the eyes, giving a glassy appearance. If you get this, yes they are very attracted to you.

You next observation will be to watch the movement of the eyes. Watch how their eyes move around your face. Notice how they move when you first meet and check what happens as the date progresses. What you are looking for is a triangular eye movement, that will go from one eye to a body part and back to the other eye. This eye body language will tell you alot about your dates intentions.

Eye body language of desire explained:

• Eye to nose to eye – This is a social eye pattern and if this is what you get, then it looks like your just friends. However, still watch to see if this changes into a different pattern as the date progresses.
• Eye to mouth to eye -This means there is more attraction as the mouth is a sexual area.
• Eye to chest to eye – Definite attraction with a desire to explore.
• Eye to genitals to eye – Very full on sexual thoughts.If you are receiving either of these signals, you will now know what is on your dates mind.

This eye contact and body language of desire little known secret really works. It’s so nice to see who might be interested in you so I hope you enjoyed this tip body language tip for the eyes. There are many more tips like this when you enter your details in the boxes below. Share this secret with your friends and create a great night out!

For more examples on body language please sign up to the news letter opposite.