How to stop your divorce by doing the opposite of what you think

The most natural thing to do when you realise that your spouse has grown tired of your marriage or relationship is to make them promises, pay them more attention and even plead with them not to leave you. This might seem to be the right thing to do to stop your divorce but in reality it will very rarely succeed. If you want to give yourself the best chance of getting your spouse back then you must do the exact opposite.

Don’t make false promises or plead

Making promises and pleading with your partner makes you look weak and pathetic and frankly not very attractive. If you do this then you are more likely to make things worse than better. Many years ago I was in a relationship that demonstrates the futility of chasing your dissatisfied spouse and how effective the exact opposite strategy can be.

We had been together for 3 happy years when my girlfriend decided to take a course in a town 6 hours away. I was supportive and put her best interests above mine and we both agreed that we would stay together and settle down when the course was over. We saw each other infrequently during the 2 years of the course and even though my enthusiasm never faltered I could sense that she was drifting away from me.

I tried to get to see her more often and did everything I could to make her happy but when she finally returned I could see that the relationship was not going to be the same as it was before. I worked hard at winning her back for almost a year but I could see that she wasn’t interested and that I was just making things worse.

I told her that it was over and the unexpected happened

I finally decided that enough was enough and told her that it was all over. I just couldn’t live like that any more. The reaction I got took me completely by surprise. Suddenly she wants to make a go of the relationship and can’t understand why I want to end it. Suddenly I’m the bad boy when I’d been trying to save us for the past 3 years.

How to stop your divorce by backing off

The lesson I learned that day is that you should never chase a failing relationship. Instead you should remain strong and make sure that you have a life apart from your loved one. Don’t plead or make false promises but make sure that she sees you going out well presented, happy and living your own life. This will make you much more attractive to your partner and might just save your divorce or relationship.

Unlock the secrets of saving your marriage and learn ways to get your lover back even when they don’t seem to be interested anymore: How to stop your wife from divorce http://this-info.com/stopdivorce/howtostopyourwifefromdivorce.php

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Well now you can. Stephen Hedger International relationship coach takes a thought provoking look at the world of affairs and cheating.

Cheating is everywhere!

One of my clients recounts her story of why she cheated.

“Bored with my husband…So I cheated!”

My husband was working long hours and to be honest I was bored and lonely. When he got home he was too tired for me or the kids. He had provided an amazing home and we wanted for nothing. But in my heart I knew something was missing we had lost the reason we got together, I resented him for what I called an existance. This was not the life I dreamed of where was the adventure, the love the passion?

I began to make a life for myself and soon Friday nights became “girls night” we hit the clubs and I just let my hair down and had a giggle.

The men in these clubs made me feel alive again, drinks, compliments I started to feel sexy again. We were approached a lot but we usually just had some innocent fun, but one night and after a very hard and lonely week. This man just took my breath away and against all my better judgment I slept with him that night. I never do this ever! My first ever one night stand. I felt hideous afterwards and for weeks I was giving everyone in my life hell because of my guilt.

I couldn’t take it anymore and confessed to my husband and he went mad I could see his pain. I had heard about Stephen through friends and thought I would give him a try. Eventually I managed to persuade my husband to come and see Stephen. Within a few weeks we started to put all our cards on the table, it was the first time we had really talked for years. My husband discovered that his drive for money had nearly cost him his marriage, and I discovered what I had done to pressure my husband to want to go and get that cash.

Stephen introduced us both to a journey of self-discovery and I can honestly say that I have never felt so peaceful and excited about my future.

“They were the lucky ones!”

The reasons that people cheat are wide and varied, but there is one common reason! The people that cheat are unhappy and are looking for something to help them feel good about themselves again.

To them affairs are the solution, but just like the alcoholic that seeks pleasure in the next drink eventually it will be their demise.

Affairs kill relationships, we know this, but how do we discover if it could happen to us and how do we stop it?

It is this question that drove me to explore the world of cheats and affairs!

My research has resulted in my new book! If you wish to read more please

Click Here - ”Signs of a Cheating Partner”

Signs of a cheating boyfriend

Signs of a cheating girlfriend

Signs of a cheating wife

Signs of a cheating husband

How will you discover the signs of cheating
in your relationship?

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Look in the mirror.

Can you tell just by looking at yourself if building trust in a relationship is something that you can do, or are successful at? As you read every word on this page you will start to discover if you are really able to be honest with you, or have you been burying you head in the sand?

You know that you are trust worthy,  but who can tell that you are, just by looking at you? Can you trust yourself to make your life and relationship just the way you want it? Just look around you, the answer to your question is the life you have, right now! That’s right!

When you look at your partner now, do you know you can trust what they say and what they do is for the good of you and your relationship. What‘s really going on in their mind, do you know?

Do you know that your partner will be with you in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years from now? If you think you do know, what proof do you have? Is the proof you have good enough or could it be better? I expect you hope they will be, but do you really want to leave something so important to chance?

You will shortly start to notice what you really have as you start to focus on every part of your relationship. How is your relationship different now to what it was when you first met? Now take some time to think… what have you discovered about that question what answers did you get and how did those answers make you feel? What do you like about where you both are today and what don’t you like? Is this relationship what you really wished for?

“Building trust in a relationship takes two!”

Imagine now if you knew how to create the excitement you had when you first met them. We all become concerned about our relationships from time-to-time. Sometimes for good reasons and sometimes little things, like a song or a dream or maybe a movie will trigger a prang in our heart that says am I doing enough to keep this relationship? Or maybe you ask yourself if your partner is really doing enough? Are you becoming unhappy with settling for average when you know you are worth so much more.

As you can imagine there is a lot to learn about relationships because they are so complicated. So imagine if something so complicated was just left alone to do it’s own thing, and the two people in it were just along for the ride what do you think might happen? I know you know the answer to that question.

How different do you think you relationship would be if you knew exactly what to do to make sure you kept it and not only that, but every day made it better?

When you imagine that now, how would that feel? And how does that feel compared to what you really have today?

So what have you lost sight of? What have you lost control of? What is in your mind right now what are you noticing about you? Are you angry, sad, confused, do you feel guilt or a sence of despair? What is it you notice in your emotions?

What trust issues do you have as the years have passed
what have you lost?

If you are now thinking you could do more, you are probably right! If you think why should I? Then discover now how you would feel if you lost your relationship knowing you could have done more to stop your break-up. Then you will have the answer to - ”why should I?”.

Many of us discover too late that things have gone wrong? Then overcoming trust issues and gaining back the goals you started life together with, make restoring trust so difficult… but there is a soulution!

If any of this has struck a cord with you and you want to find out more please click the link below

Building Trust in a Relationship!

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With the sustained rise in relationship problems splits and divorce still on the rise, couples are still not getting the message of how to stay together. If they keep on doing what they have been doing, then they will keep getting what they away got - more problems! Lets look at what’s happening and what needs to change.

Imagine for a moment what is important to you in your life. What would you miss if it wasn’t there? Home, job, husband, wife, partner, money I’m sure you can list many more.

So what do you do on a regular basis to make sure you keep all of those things?

• If you have a home I expect you pay the rent or the mortgage each month because if you didn’t you would lose it.
  
• If you have a job then if you did not do your best and turn up each day then you would lose that job. What you are doing is applying the right focus to those things to make sure you keep them.

The shocking truth

What would have to happen for you to lose your relationship? The shocking truth is just carry on doing what you’re doing. It’s the best route to disaster. I have read several studies that all point to the same conclusion. Couples do not talk to each other. The reports are suggesting that couples spend on average 20 minutes per week or 3 minutes a day in focused meaningful conversation.

Think back to when you were dating. How much time did you spend in meaningful conversation and focused fun? If your date was 2/3 hours that’s a lot of time and energy spent on you both. So why did you do that?

You did it because you had a goal. That goal was more dates, sex, love, marriage, great feelings, and fun, we all have our own agendas. But the bottom line was you felt great about you, your future and your partner. By dating, you created hope.

Where have your goals gone?

Now ask yourself how exciting does you future look now? If it does not look great and you are now bored you are entering the relationship danger zone. You can also guarantee that if you are feeling bored or unhappy then your partner is too. The less you communicate the worse it gets and before you know it either one of you is dreaming of a different life or an affair is on the horizon. The next step is to blame your partner or the relationship. You will feel resentment of not getting the life you thought you were going to get and this is likely to turn into a lack of respect. Once you get to that stage a break-up is very likely, is that what you really want?

We have nothing to talk about!

Many couples complain that they have nothing to talk about and they are right, they have different jobs roles and lives the common factor they have is live under the same roof so what can they talk about? Kids, money, their day, the grass needs cutting, no wonder they don‘t want to talk.

So what did they discuss when they were first dating? What they talked about then was their future, they created exciting goals, of future dates, weekends away, great nights out. Then these goal progressed to living together getting married, getting rich! Who knows what it was that excited you about your future with your partner but something did. Without goals, there would be no second date or a relationship and you can’t create goals if you don’t talk. Creating an exciting life together is your goal, this is where you start.

You have not lost your love you have lost your future.

You have not lost your love or your passion you are basically still the same people you both fell in love with, but by not communicating you have both successfully killed the relationship without realising. This is not the fault of the relationship it is the fault of the actions or lack of them.

You have heard people say

“We need to split up because this relationship is going nowhere”.
In translation it means that the couple has not created goals for their future, Therefore neither one can’t see a future so the conclusion is the relationship must be wrong.

Very oftern this is a cry for help.

What has happened is you have both failed in applying the very thing your relationship needs for it to survive, an exciting future. Create that first and in return you will both create fulfilled lives littered with fantastic memories rather than poor ones you might already have.

Start today, sit with your partner, and create a life together. What have you always dreamed of doing both personally and in the relationship? Decide and design the life you both want and then take the steps to achieve that life. Create small steps towards those bigger goals and work together at it.

Now you have lots to talk about and an exciting future of possibilities. In this world of plenty, the opportunities are endless. Get excited together, go, and get the life you know you both deserve.

Take action now and rediscover yourself and your partner again. Click “free relationship advce” to discover more ways to stay together and fast!

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This Body language of desire secret is Steve Hedger’s favorite. Body language & relationship coach has listed below a great way to discover see who is attracted to you. I have many more top body language tips for you so you know who is interested in you without a word being exchanged. You can also use these tips to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex.

So let’s get going, have fun and enjoy!

When you really fancy the pants off someone you just met, it is an amazing feeling. But unless you know if the feelings are reciprocated then this is also very frustrating.

You just want to know “So do you fancy me or not?” But you just can’t ask that! Well…you can ask what you want, but that is not a question that will help either of you. Your answers are right there in front of you. People give off unspoken signals constantly and when you are on a date it is like a firework display. But only if you know what to look for! In this first tip we are going to look at attraction through body language eye contact.

The eye contact body language of desire gives the game away.

Lets start with some little known signals. The eyes are a big give-a-way. What you’re after is a combination of body language and eye contact. We will come onto more body language secrets later in this series, but for now we will focus on the eyes. Most of us have heard that dilated pupils mean attraction and this is true, but this can be confused by low lighting that can also affect our eyes this way. A sure fire way to notice attraction is to look for glassy eyes. When someone is aroused by another their body creates moisture in the genital region, what you may not know is, this moisture also builds up in the eyes, giving a glassy appearance. If you get this, yes they are very attracted to you.

You next observation will be to watch the movement of the eyes. Watch how their eyes move around your face. Notice how they move when you first meet and check what happens as the date progresses. What you are looking for is a triangular eye movement, that will go from one eye to a body part and back to the other eye. This eye body language will tell you alot about your dates intentions.

Eye body language of desire explained:

• Eye to nose to eye - This is a social eye pattern and if this is what you get, then it looks like your just friends. However, still watch to see if this changes into a different pattern as the date progresses.
• Eye to mouth to eye -This means there is more attraction as the mouth is a sexual area.
• Eye to chest to eye - Definite attraction with a desire to explore.
• Eye to genitals to eye - Very full on sexual thoughts.If you are receiving either of these signals, you will now know what is on your dates mind.

This eye contact and body language of desire little known secret really works. It’s so nice to see who might be interested in you so I hope you enjoyed this tip body language tip for the eyes. There are many more tips like this when you enter your details in the boxes below. Share this secret with your friends and create a great night out!

For more examples on body language please sign up to the news letter opposite.

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